Time Travel??

I had the weirdest dream tonight..... I had a dream, a short dream, until the dogs woke me up.

It was about me going back 10 years in time.

I do not remember a whole lot from the dream, but it definitely got me thinking. As weird as it is, the only setting from 10 years ago that I actually was in was at work. 10 years ago I started Lowe's, back in high school, as a part time plumbing associate. In my dream, I was really focused on implementing some of the knowledge that I have today, which would make me more of a trend setter. I specifically was focusing on the I.M.P.A.C.T. model that I use on a daily basis, as a base of my job as Sales Manager. Anyway, enough about my career.

When I woke up, after letting the dogs out (since they were the one who ended my journey back in time) I got thinking about the dream a little more. It sort of got me thinking down the path of, "What would I do if I could go back in time, and had the chance to change things."

I would like to start out by saying that my reflection in the past does not mean that I regret any decision that I have made up to this point. I am very happy with my life, and would not change a thing. This is only a "what if"

I first started thinking about what would happen if I was able to ignite my base with Lowe's, from the knowledge that I had today, and how I would use it to boost my position. It would pretty much be impossible as an 18 year old person with 1 month of experience to influence the staff into anything. So, I moved on.

I started thinking about college. To this day, I really wish I would have taken it more seriously. I realize that in many aspects, I went for the wrong reason (girlfriend,partying... etc.). I could have chosen a different college, yet it would have probably turned out the same. What if i did focus on college?? I would have went the full 5 years, and became a teacher. I would not have went back home after my first year, would not have started back at Lowe's, and would not have been on Yahoo chat on December 8th at 10pm, meeting my future wife, which changed my life forever. So, I am pretty happy that I did not change my focus.

I started thinking about moving to Belpre. I really like the town of Belpre. It is actually a really nice, quiet town. This is a great town to raise a family in, at least until they go to school. The ratings are lower than what I want as a parent, and what seems to be the best school for them to go to is 15 miles away, and will not be easy to commute them back and forth. If I had not moved to Belpre, and transferred to the Lowe's of Vienna, WV, I would not have met the store manager Brent Lynch. This man gave me chances that he did not give others. He saw something in me that allowed me to progress as a manager, and gave me the opportunity to grow with a company that has a very bright future. Who knows where I would be in Bellefontaine, Ohio, with Jimmy Gibbs as store manager. So I am pretty happy that I moved to Belpre.

I then thought of something that I would love to change more than anything, not only for me, but for my wife. What if we made Pam go to the hospital the night of December 16th, 2003? Obviously, removed would be the pain, sadness and complete change in Michelle's life. Believe me when I say, that my wife lost her mom, her idol, and her best friend in one fell swoop. She lost someone in her life that looked forward to OUR lives almost more than we did. I miss her very much also. This would be the one that I would think about the hardest. The question is, "Would I have the two beautiful children that I have today, If Pam were here? I really look at my kids as twin miracles, and wonder if they are here because of Pam? I really wonder if God chose to take Pam, and gave me the two beautiful children I have today?

The one area that I thought of that I know would not change my life directly (at least from down here, and at this point in time), would be that one day in August that I was driving up to Great Grandpa Alspaugh's funeral. I was driving by myself up U.S. 33 on the way to the funeral, as I started to pass a man on a Harley. As I got closer the man started looking familiar. It was my step-dad I had most of my life, John. I waved him down, and we both pulled off on the next off-ramp, which happened to be the county highway exit 147 at Honda. Man, it was crazy. What were the odds of catching him on the highway. I had not seen him since I moved to Belpre in February 2003. I did not get along with him very well growing up, but when we pulled off and talked that day, it was like we were best friends. WOW, I thought, maybe this is a sign that we were past everything. A 10 minute conversation about Michelle, and how close we were to having the kids and how happy he was that all was going good for me, a hug and we were both back on our way. Two weeks later, I got the bad news...... It definitely did not seem like coincidence anymore. Sorry to go off on tangent. Would I change what happened by asking him to think about things a little more thoroughly? That is a good question.

I finished my thought process thinking about my battle with cancer. Would I be able to change anything?? Other than going to the doctor when I first felt pain, no. I consider myself lucky that ALL that I had to do was go through surgery. I see, read and hear about people who have to go through chemo-therapy, and it is not a fun obstacle. I know that because of this, I am a slightly different from before. Besides the scars, I have an even stronger respect for the disease. I really hope for a cure, and will do as much as I can in my life to assist in this process. So all reading this, support cancer research by participating/donating in Relay for Life, the various Cancer Marathons, and any other of the many forms of public focus.

I don't really know where I was going with the thought process after my dream this morning, but I knew instantly that I wanted to talk about it. I know that I am not for changing the past. I know, and fully believe, that your past is what makes your stronger. It is really what defines the decisions you make, and reminds you daily what you should NOT take for granted.
Your past is what defines you"? Maybe.

Here is some irony to end this post. I turned on the tv for Jayden this morning, turned it to Nickelodeon, and Dora the Explorer was on. Dora and Swiper went into the past learning about what they can change about Swiper's behavior. I thought this was a nice, ironic completion to my dream.